“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

— Matthew, Chapter 4, verses 3-10, English Standard Version

I immediately got the countercultural drift of this passage when I read it for the first time as part of an eighth-grade exploring religions class. Those who were “poor in spirit”, “meek”, or “pure in heart” were in serious danger of being bullied. Mourning was something you had to do to make family members happier with you. Hungering and thirsting for righteousness was another way of saying “Goody Two-shoes.” As a totally blind person, being shown mercy meant being able to get away with stuff that light-dependent people could not.

But somehow peacemaking didn’t seem so dangerous. Even though most of us guys fought with each other, we all understood that war was bad and love was good, though for most of us love was really lust. Over the years, though, I have grown to understand how peacemaking causes cultural tensions.

What is peace?

Dictionary definitions imply that peace is an absence of conflict. I believe, though, that peace is better defined as conflicts well-managed, as an absence of conflict leads to deadly stagnation. Peacemakers, therefore, are those that manage conflicts well: sharp enough to understand objectively a conflict’s parameters while tender-hearted enough to engage the feelings that uniquely energize each conflict.

Managing conflicts can be confusing. How can we be sharp enough to dispassionately think through the complexities of each conflict yet tender-hearted enough to empathize with feelings? Sometimes, we’re too close to the conflict to think dispassionately. Sometimes, we’re too disconnected to bring our hearts into the mix. Sometimes, it’s too dangerous to open our hearts. Sometimes, conflicts need to fester before they can be addressed effectively. Sometimes, we can address them ourselves. Sometimes, we need assistance from others.

Managing conflicts can be risky. How many of us have attempted to address a conflict with someone else by meekly confessing how we contributed to the problem or showing mercy by forgiving the actions of another only to be snapped at, ignored, or stabbed in the back? How many of us have tried to assist others in managing conflicts, but made things worse, sometimes damaging relationships between us and those we are trying to support?

These challenges and risks increase exponentially as conflicts become more complex and involve more people. Diversity and inclusion. Culture wars. Real wars. Successes are harder to achieve while peacemakers are subject to ridicule, false accusations, isolation, and assassination.

President Abraham Lincoln after the United States Civil War.

Anwar Sadat, President of Egypt, several years after negotiating a peace treaty with Israel.

Yitzhak Rabin, Prime Minister of Israel, shortly after negotiating the Oslo Accords with the Palestinian Liberation Organization.

The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yet peacemakers persevere. They work with spouses, kids, and other family members to keep families thriving. They teach others to be better peacemakers. They support those in the workplace to manage conflicts to increase productivity and innovation. They work across boundaries to increase understanding and find that common ground. They speak out against unnecessary violence.

Each of us are peacemakers and peacebreakers, sometimes simultaneously. Each of us are children of God. Each of us can get better at creating that balance between sharpness and open-heartedness. Let’s work together to become better at managing conflicts.