During the past six months, I have been caught in a cultural cross-fire. On one hand, many baby boomers in my orbit have been complaining about the shortcomings of millennials. They’re lazy. They can’t add without a calculator. They can’t think critically. They’re snowflakes. All they do is shout. They’re addicted to their phones. They can’t take part in a conversation.

And on and on.

During the past year, I have been part of a new church service led jointly by a forty-plus minister and a bunch of twenty-somethings. A college senior runs the praise band. Last summer, these twenty-somethings led many of the church services, including preaching sermons that were at least as good as sermons I have heard from older pastors. While the forty-something minister coached behind the scenes, most of us older folk did little more than congratulate them for jobs well-done while benefitting from their wisdom.

For the past thirty months, I have been supporting student-athletes attending the University of Missouri to become better writers and critical thinkers as they try to balance academics with practice, travel, competition, and a social life. Most of these students are emotionally intelligent, intellectually curious, and take my disability in stride.

And for the past ten years, I have played a part in raising three stepkids, each now living apart from their parents with varying degrees of success.

Whenever these cultural dissonances surface, I think about what Dr. Kenneth Sole, a pioneer in the diversity field, often said during the workshops he led: that there are more differences within groups than among groups.

I also remember Mom shouting at the radio or TV when talking heads complained about the faults of baby boomers:

“Hey, you idiots!” she would shout. “Why don’t you think about how you are partially responsible for the things you don’t like about this generation; you raised them, after all!”

Isn’t it possible that we baby boomers are projecting our laziness onto millennials? Isn’t it possible some of us boomers chose not to teach millennials how to add without a calculator? Isn’t it possible that millennials can’t think critically because too many of us have segregated ourselves into communities of like-minded people? Isn’t it possible that they’re snowflakes because too many of us are snowflakes? Isn’t it possible that the reason many millennials are uniting behind loudmouthed people like Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is because too many of us boomers are rallying behind loudmouths like President Trump? Isn’t it possible that they’re addicted to their phones because, well, we’re addicted to our own technology? Isn’t it possible that the reason they can’t take part in a conversation is that too many of us haven’t conversed with them?

And isn’t it possible that millennials can do all these things we say they can’t do and more because of the good work many of us boomers have done?

Like all generations, millennials have challenges unique to them. According to a recent report on CBS news (1), millennials currently control three percent of the United States’ wealth while baby boomers controlled twenty-one percent when at the same age range of current millennials even though the two cohorts are about the same size. Might this explain millennials’ interest in socialism?

Baby boomers and millennials have many ways to connect. A mother-daughter pair occasionally belted out random snippets of old-school gospel music and 1980s TV theme songs during last year’s Christmas Eve festivities. A twenty-something colleague told me about how she bonds with her mother as they watch baseball games together. My wife described how grandparents, parents, and kids came together to celebrate the Grateful Dead’s concluding three concerts in Chicago. The Dave Matthews Band has a similar appeal across generations.

OK, boomers, we have a choice. We can look forward and support millennials as they work towards improving things, even if we don’t quite understand what they’re doing — or we can move backwards into a fearful place where all we do is complain.

Or we can move forward while encouraging millennials to look backwards so they can learn from our successes and mistakes.

Happy New Year!

(1) https://www.cbsnews.com/news/millennials-have-just-3-of-us-wealth-boomers-at-their-age-had-21/

To listen to the song on which the title of this post is based, please visit