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- Year in review
As we in the United States approach the five-month anniversary of the COVID-19 invasion, we are jogging along two rapidly separating paths.
People populating the first path are adjusting to working from home buoyed by technology while people on the other path are either unemployed or are working service or manufacturing jobs with other people surrounding them, making them more susceptible to the virus. Both groups struggle to balance family and work, but it is much easier for people on…..
An abridged transcript of my second coaching session with President Trump. (1)
Peter Altschul (PA): Mr. President. What a surprise.
President Trump (PT): I remember our first worthless session, Pipsqueak Pete. You gave me terrible advice.
PA: So why are you here?
PT: To shut up Jumpy Jared, Grouchy Grassley, and the other losers.
PA: What do they want?
PT: They want me to be less hostile. They say I’ll get more votes that way.
PA: What do you…..
An intrepid Swamp News reporter has just ferreted out that the NCAA basketball tournaments are indeed taking place in secluded locations cleansed of the COVID-19 coronavirus. This startling revelation exposed action recaps from two sportscasting teams. Summaries of these recaps appear below and in the prior blog post.
2020 NCAA Basketball Tournament Synopsis: Never Trumpers Version
———-
Region One
First Round
South Carolina Gamecocks defeat Jackson State Tigers. Herbivores over carnivores.
Florida Gulf Coast Eagles fly high over Michigan Spartans……
An intrepid Swamp News reporter has just ferreted out that the NCAA basketball tournaments are indeed taking place in secluded locations cleansed of the Chinese virus. This startling revelation exposed action recaps from two sportscasting teams. Summaries of these recaps appear below and in the next blog post.
2020 NCAA Basketball Tournament Synopsis: Forever Trumpers Version (Brackets Courtesy of ESPN)
First Four
Robert Morris Colonials over Boston Univ. Terriers (humans over animals … especially since Terriers are wimpy)
North Carolina…..
Good evening.
Hmmm…Darwinian socialism.
Good one. I’ll try to get my sleepy brain to remember that.
Like Senator Sanders, I thank you for listening, and appreciate what each of you are doing to help us conquer this virus. We need to band together to overcome President Trump’s clueless leadership. We need to unite to overcome his divisiveness.
And we will.
I also thank Speaker Pelosi for taking the lead in creating strategies that will bolster community efforts to decrown this…..
Good evening.
Thanks for listening. I hope each of you are safe, supported, and well.
Former Vice-President Biden and I will have time to unpack our differences about how to address the challenges we face. Right now, I would like to focus on President Trump.
We have several things in common. We are both seventy-something white men who believe we have what it takes to lead this great nation. Like many of our founders, we are suspicious of foreign…..
Every year, two tribal ceremonies take place within days of each other: the United States’ President’s State of the Union (SOTU) speech and the Super Bowl.
When I was in high school, my sister and I watched our first SOTU speech together. As the president droned on about his accomplishments, she told me how the President’s party rose as one to cheer his accomplishments while the other sat in stony silence.
Since then, the ceremony surrounding this speech has become…..
Good morning (or afternoon/evening):
As I’m sure you remember, the House of Representatives passed two articles of impeachment connected with President Trump’s actions related to Ukraine just before the holiday break: “abuse of power” for conditioning military aid to a public announcement that Ukraine leaders would investigate former Vice-President Joe Biden; and “obstruction of Congress” for preventing testimony from key witnesses connected to this matter. We believe that our case was solid, and that our Republican colleagues would have supported…..
Dear Most Noble King Trump:
We at Service Dogs of America (SDA) wish to congratulate you on killing that human terrorist Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. This would have been impossible without your noble spirit and extraordinary courage — or curage, in canine speak.
We also want to thank you for recognizing those heroic service dogs — all members of our organization — who chased down this evil human, making the job of your brave soldiers much easier. We are pleased that…..
A transcript of my thirty-minute conversation with guide dog Heath.
Heath: Congratulations on a great victory. The way you nailed that job interview against all odds. You weren’t given a chance, and you ended up winning that great job in that great city.
Peter: Absolutely! I won bigly and I worked hard for this. And I learned so much from you. I used quite a few of your skills and knowledge and achieved a unique success. I am now working…..
Breaking Barriers - Working and Loving While Blind