Last Thursday, David Lile, the morning drive-time host of Columbia, Missouri’s newstalk radio station, interviewed me about my book “Breaking Barriers: Working and Loving While Blind.” Like most interviewers, David focused on how my blindness has influenced my life, but his approach was refreshing because he communicated curiosity and allowed me the space to answer his questions in my own way.

“How do you tell others what it was like growing up totally blind?” he asked.

I explained that I tell people that I learned how to do things at around the same time that my sighted peers did, but that I usually do things differently from those who can see.

“How well do you understand that most people see things differently than you?”

“I think I understand that pretty well,” I asserted. I explained that for me color is only a concept while sighted people experience it viscerally. “But I have somehow learned to work around this difference when talking to people who are light dependent,” I added.

(I could have talked about how amazed some people seem to be when they see me walk around the neighborhood or sing in a choir, and how that makes it more difficult to get a job, but the moment wasn’t right.)

After talking about how I formed relationships with my five guide dogs, David asked if I was less judgmental because I was blind.

“I often get asked this question,” I responded, “and it’s true that I can’t judge people by sight, but I make judgments based on tone of voice, rate of speech, the way people touch me, and by the way they smell. So I can be just as judgmental as everyone else if I’m not careful.”

Perhaps I should have also said that we blind people have to forge relationships with all kinds of people to solve the day-to-day problems we experience, but I wouldn’t have had the chance to highlight my work encouraging pro-life and pro-choice activists to dialogue instead of throwing insults at each other.

“Congress could use your help,” David said.

“It’s all about creating good relationships before negotiating the tough issues,” I explained. “And this happened all the time until about fifteen years ago.”

“But they can’t do that now because they are constantly campaigning.”

“There’s some truth in that,” I responded, “but I believe that they could do the right thing if they really wanted to.”

As we wrapped up the interview, I thought about how David, like my deceased stepmother, has the knack of asking provocative questions in a disarming way. Thanks, David, for a refreshing interview – and thanks, KFRU, for giving him a platform.

In closing, I steer the wheel to the left? right? Not sure.

For all those activists who have started to use the Aurora tragedy as a platform to express their views, get off your soapbox! Give all of us a chance to grieve and catch our breath. All you are doing is antagonizing your audience. We might be able to hear you better if you keep silent for a while, but If you must say something, talk from the heart about how this tragedy has affected you without reverting to your talking points. Thanks in advance for your silence.